LotR Songbook
by Korora
Summary: Here I will consolidate some LotRthemed parodies. Latest song, Climbing Over Mirkwood Mountains
1. Tower of Cirith Ungol

Note: LotR belongs to the estate of J. R. R. Tolkien, "Hotel California" to the Eagles.

"Tower of Cirith Ungol"  
As sung by Shagrat  
To the tune of "Hotel California" by the Eagles

Shelob was out a-hunting  
A gift from her Sneak  
Then she sat on a nail though  
We didn't hear her shriek  
Found a spy in the pathway  
He was out like a light  
Saw the wound from the stinger  
He was the gift alright

Gorbag said "There's another"  
It's clear he is about"  
And I was thinking to myself  
'Gorbag's brain must have fallen out'  
So we entered the Tower  
And we stashed him away  
There were voices up the stairwell  
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Tower of Cirith Ungol  
There's no sport today  
He'll be sent away  
Sent to his doom from the Tower of Cirith Ungol  
To Lugbúrz he goes  
To tell what he knows

He woke up on the top floor  
Knew that he had reached the end  
And again Gorbag told me to watch out  
For the friend  
Now I did not trust his lot  
Though we hadn't fought yet  
"Don't eat spies" we were ordered  
But they might forget

Gorbag he pinched the mail-shirt  
With the mithril shine  
I said "You put that plunder down  
It's all for the Great Eye."  
And still those voices are calling  
While done away  
As the Orcs tore each other apart  
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Tower of Cirith Ungol  
There's no sport today  
He'll be sent away  
We're falling apart at the Tower of Cirith Ungol  
Snaga, Shagrat, spy  
All remain alive

Bell clanged in the ceiling  
Seems someone's got in here  
Said Snaga, "There's a foe that's got inside  
Just like Gorbag feared."  
And in the upstairs chamber  
Snaga fell and croaked  
While I found Gorbag still alive  
And overkilled the bloke

Last thing I remember  
I was running out the door  
The two Hobbits they got past  
The Watchers like before  
I took the loot down to Lugbúrz  
For Sauron to receive  
Then he stripped me of my captaincy  
Lugbúrz I cannot leave


	2. Roads

For those of you who don't know, Bilba Labingi, Maura Labingi, Banazîr Galpsi, Razanûr Tûk, and Kalimac Brandagamba are Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry's true names respectively, according to Tolkien..

"Roads"  
To the tune of "Roam" by the B52s

The Perian  
Adventurous  
Quite rare but not  
Unheard-of is

Bilba Labingi, these Naugrim need you to leave  
With them to defeat the dragon in their home  
Take a little trip; mountains, wood, and wilderness  
From Kudukbas to Erebor the way is

Roads go fore'er on  
All over the world  
Roads go forever on  
Without roof, with ground for bed  
Roads go fore'er on  
All over the world  
Roads go forever on  
And who knows how 'twill be when all is done and said

Leave Eriador and the Ring behind  
Maura he will keep it hidden safe  
Take a little trip; mountains, wood, and wilderness  
From home to Erebor to Imladris

Roads go fore'er on  
All over the world  
Roads go forever on  
Without roof, with ground for bed  
Roads go fore'er on  
All over the world  
Roads go forever on  
And who knows how 'twill be when all is done and said

Maura, Ban, Raz, Kalimac, bolt when you can  
Sauron knows you've got the long-lost Ruling Ring  
Take a little trip; mountains, wood, and wilderness  
From Kudukbas to Mordor the way is

Roads go fore'er on  
All over the world  
Roads go forever on  
Without roof, with ground for bed  
Roads go fore'er on  
All over the world  
Roads go forever on  
And who knows how 'twill be when all is done and said

Take a little trip; mountains, wood, and wilderness (8x, fade out on reps 7 and 8)


	3. I'll Melt the Ring

As sung by Frodo Baggins  
To the tune of "I Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash

---

Uncle Bilbo left me this here magic Ring  
Gandalf says that it is an accurséd thing  
An attempt to smash it would not leave a ding  
So I sing, I'll melt the ring

We got out a bit late; however we're fine  
Though I nearly was lost to the Riders Nine  
But we made it to Imladris just in time  
So I sing, I'll melt the ring

We had a meeting to see what we ought to do  
The Ring is evil, that is obviously true  
It must be destroyed and very, very soon  
So I sing, I'll melt the ring

The Ring Project it went horribly awry  
Mandos said whatever Fëanorians tried  
Would be ruined or corrupted by and by  
So I sing, I'll melt the ring

Uncle Bilbo left me this here magic Ring  
Gandalf says that it is an accurséd thing  
An attempt to smash it would not leave a ding  
So I sing, I'll melt the ring


	4. Climbing Over Mirkwood Mountains

As sung by a swarm of Mary Sues about to infest Mirkwood.  
To the tune of "Climbing over Rocky Mountain" by Gilbert and Sullivan

---

Climbing over Mirkwood Mountains  
It's of all hotness the fountain  
Passing where the canon quivers  
Out where the Enchanted River  
Bears the barrels off east  
Threading long and wooded mazes  
Singing Legolas's praises  
Who needs lamps when you've got Sue pow'r?  
We will get there in the hour  
We may e'en catch a feast.

Our Sue powers hold off the spiders  
Until Leggy cometh with his riders  
We'll be damsels in distress  
And we'll fall for Legolas' hawtness

We'll be damsels in distress,  
Fall for Legolas' hawtness

Legolas will need what we give  
For we'll make Thranduil abusive  
We all want to use our charms  
To get into Legolas's arms

We all want to use our charms  
Into Legolas's arms

Leaving our old home's grief and care  
Down here in the forest air  
Let us Legolas possess  
For he's the king of hawtness

Hey! The Mirkwood palace there  
Delvéd out by Oropher!  
Over LotR we'll decree  
Screw that silly PPC

Over LotR we'll decree  
Screw that silly PPC  
Our Sue powers hold off the spiders  
Until Leggy comes with riders  
We'll be damsels in distress  
And we'll fall for Legolas' hawtness  
We'll be damsels in distress,  
Fall for Legolas' hawtness  
Our Sue powers hold off the spiders  
Until Leggy comes with riders.  
We can't all share him!  
Have at you!


End file.
